WOMEN’S LIVES LEFT UPSIDE DOWN BECAUSE OF ABUSE

Sir,

As a person who ended up losing flexibility of my left side due to the torture I went through in the prison of abuse, today I would like to address the issue of being physically challenged and the pain that comes with it.

A lot of women’s lives have been left upside down because of the abuse they have endured in the hands of men who had professed their love, these women were either left blind, crippled or on wheelchairs, others were left with their faces disfigured, others are booked in mental institutions and so on.

When I gradually lost control of my left limbs, I felt helpless, I was angry, scared of not being able to function normally again, I thought I was dying, why was God allowing me to go through this?, I had gone through enough already (I thought), why was God not punishing my oppressor instead?. After God had delivered me from the claws of abuse, I was able to find a spiritual home, I was prayed for by my spiritual father and other pastors including guest pastors from other countries but the stroke was not reversed.

I witnessed numerous healings right in my church but I remained the same and I was emotionally shattered, one day I was fine and then I was unable to do some things without help, had I sinned more than everyone else?

I was tired of the stares from people while trying to walk around town, others wondering what happened as they knew me whole, others would stare and not look away even when I stared back. The most painful thing is that people start questioning your faith; I have been asked why I was not healed while submitting under a pastor who prayed for people and they would be healed. Even if my faith was so weak but the faith of my spiritual father alone was enough, he wanted me healed like all the others. I had served as an usher in the church but because of setbacks, I could no longer continue and that really hurt me.

During one of my major setbacks, I was confined indoors for almost three months,  couldn’t walk at all, I was livid at the situation, the Holy Spirit led me to read the whole book of Job, I was annoyed but reluctantly obeyed and that changed my outlook, to this day I thank God that I obeyed.
I began to be grateful for the life God spared, most abused women die in the hands of their oppressors, I appreciated all the other functional parts of my body, I realised that it was futile wasting my energy moaning about my situation as I wouldn’t  change the situation, instead I was aggravating it further by depressing myself.

Trusting God with my situation has helped me cope and has nurtured the healing of my wounded soul.
The love of God has enabled me to encourage and comfort others with the comfort I receive from the Father of all comfort. I have also learnt to make people comfortable around me, If I see a person staring at me pitifully or sympathetically, I smile to indicate that its ok there’s no need to feel sorry for me, my God has got it covered so I’m coping.

There are people in far worse situations than mine; some do not have all limbs, some are blind, deaf and dumb, the list goes on. God has deposited inner strength in us, so I do not want to allow physical limitations to suppress the will of God for me to live the life He has purposed for me, I’m like a wounded soldier refusing to give up before time. God says in His Word; “…My grace is all you need, my power works best in weakness…” (2Corinthians 12:9 NLT).

One stroke survivor during an interview on television was asked how he was coping with his disability, he said the only disability in a person is a negative attitude towards a situation. I was really inspired. I am still trusting God for my physical healing.
If my healing comes, Hallelujah! If it doesn’t come, I will trust God anyway because He still loves me, He will continue using my limitations for His glory; to encourage others so that they also do the same, we can do all things through Christ who gives us the strength (Philippians 4:13).
Quote:  “I do not look upon each day as another day closer to death, but as another day of life to be appreciated and enjoyed” – Orville Kelly.

‘DEE VEE’ DLAMINI                       

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