ON POSITIVE DISCIPLINE, AND BABY TERRORISTS

Sir,

I was all for positive discipline, until my enjoyment of the recent public holiday was disturbed by a group of baby terrorists.
Believing that I wasn’t home, these primary school aged children trespassed onto my property (not for the first time, I suspect) and tried to pry my door open.

Feeling violated and deeply annoyed when I found them, I was prepared to abandon the notion of positive discipline altogether. My first impulse was to grab the delinquents by the ear, slap the fear of God into them and send them home to their mothers – in that order.
Thankfully, I suppose, the tiny offenders were quick on their feet and disappeared before I could regress to vigilante ways.

Once I calmed down, I remembered that children of that age typically lack the maturity to know the difference between right and wrong. My frustration soon shifted towards parents who allow their children to run the streets at all hours of the day (and, sometimes, night) unchaperoned.
After all, why should any neighbourhood deal with unruly children while their makers catch up on daytime TV?

Furthermore, the willingness to leave your parental responsibilities to others implies that you are also willing to let those very people handle your children however they see fit.

Indeed, if strangers are forced to babysit your children, some of them may think that discipline and punishment are simply part of the job. While I chose not to behave irrationally in that moment, others may not do the same. This means that your children are made vulnerable to all sorts of abuses – due to your own negligence.

Child discipline has become something of a burning issue over the past few weeks, after the Ministry of Education opted to abolish corporal punishment in the school system. This decision was motivated by the acknowledgement that corporal punishment creates the opportunity for teachers and caregivers to use excessive force.

This is not to say that all adults lack self-control, but that some do tend to use discipline as an excuse to abuse or assault youths.
Furthermore, corporal punishment is difficult to regulate because every disciplinarian has a completely subjective idea of where to draw the line.
One teacher may stop at a single tap on the hand with a ruler, while another may resort to dolling out a slap in the face. Such instances violate the rights of the child, and possibly undermine his or her parents’ own child-rearing policies.

In spite of these dangers, however, it cannot be denied that a small portion of our youth is not being disciplined at all in the home.
Due to the absence or negligence of their caregivers, these children are free to wreak havoc upon whoever crosses their path.
Who, then, takes responsibility for these misguided youths?

The concept of hitting other people’s children is not new to our culture, which encourages all adults in a child’s life to take on a parental role. Brothers keep their nephews and nieces in line, grandparents look out for their grandchildren and so forth. This has been so for generations.
In modern times, the unspoken rule is that adults should do their best to refrain from beating children who aren’t theirs (unless given permission to do so).

But when parents are not available to make such decisions, the line becomes somewhat blurry. 
Needless to say, I am not encouraging the nation to take up arms against unruly children. I am, however, reminding mums and dads that this is a highly unpredictable world – something I thought no parents need to be reminded of.

My holiday ended on the conclusion that I prefer not to harm little people, not even those headed down a delinquent path.
Unfortunately, these tiny tyrants may one day stumble upon the wrong home, run into the wrong person, and have to deal with a whole lot more than a written reprimand. 

 Nonjabulo Mlangeni

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