MY HELPER IS MY RIGHT HAND WOMAN

Sir,
                           
Those of us in sub-Saharan Africa are truly blessed in that we have helpers to assist us not only with the housework but even with our children, at very affordable prices.

It was the helper who taught me to read the Bible in Zulu, for when I was growing up, there was no siSwati Bible.
Tryfina taught me how to knit with two very long nails and she basically taught me everything a girl should know about housework, laying tables for lunch or dinner as she had so much more patience than my mother, and she explained everything to me in a manner that I could understand why certain things should be in certain places.

I knit most of my jerseys and knitted dresses, for that gives me a sense of achievement.  She was with my parents for some 20 years! Respect was key and I was taught to respect my elders and never to forget to sit like a lady.

Had this wonderful lady not been a part of my life, I would never be the person I have turned out to be. She contributed unconditionally to the well-being of my whole family and in my humble opinion, all the money in the world cannot ever buy such patience, love and attention.
Today in my country I have noted total disrespect by children towards the helpers.

  Helpers are in fact not only disrespected by children but also by their employers.  I had an occasion where a so-called ‘pastor’ visited my home in his attempt to use my swimming pool to baptise his flock. 

As the said pastor had left his business card in my home and the helpers had already left for the weekend on that Friday when I returned home, I decided to check my cameras and play back his visit. It was obvious he had total disregard for my helpers. His mannerisms towards my helpers left a lot to be desired. The pride was obvious as I read peoples body language.  I wondered what sort of people would follow such a pompous physical body? 

I do not know about other homes but in my home my helpers are the ones who ensure my home is always spick and span.  They are also the ones who know what I believe in, what I follow, who is permitted into my home and who is not, they are basically my managers.

  They remind me of my appointments, make up my grocery lists, answer my phones and take messages when I am occupied, and thus the reason why I take offence when anyone telephoning refuses to give them their name. Such total disregard for another human being who plays such an important role in my life, hurts me. 

Without the contribution of these women I wonder how many of us would walk about with such well washed and ironed clothing?  Can you imagine having to come home after a long day at work and still have to clean the house, wash clothes, do dishes, cook supper, take care of the children, etc.?

I had occasion to listen to a minor child of a foreign family in my country, saying to the helper that she should just shut up and re-clean the house again since that is what she was employed to do, after the helper had complained that the child was messing up the lounge after she had already cleaned it.  The arrogance with which the child spoke to the helper told me a great deal about that family!  Needless to say, I cut all ties with the family. 

I prefer to associate myself with people who are humane at all material times.  Having different faces for different people is something I have eliminated from my life.  Saying children learn this behaviour at school is no excuse, or are you not spending any time at all with your children to know what habits they have acquired?

If you are not getting consideration, respect, courtesy and politeness from your helper then you had better re-consider, what energies are you emitting, for we can only always get that which we already have.   Educate me if I am wrong, I love learning!

Inalda Jorge-Antonio

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