Times Of Swaziland: MORALLY UNACCEPTABLE

MORALLY UNACCEPTABLE
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The Editor on 13/07/2018 01:39:00


Sir,
A thought crossed my mind that maybe people cohabitate because they believe it
is progress towards marriage. When people profess their undying love for each
other, their relationship passes certain tests and stages and they reach a part
where they feel they are a solid couple.
Few studies I have read state that you can only confidently say you know someone
when you’ve dated for at least three years. This means that if you’ve been
with someone for less than 36 months, you only know ‘what’ they are, not
‘who’ they are. This, too, seems to sell the idea that moving in together is
good.
Therefore, some people feel being cohabitants gives you the opportunity to
discover all the good and bad habits of your future husband or wife because it
is rather not possible to discover more about him/her just by weekend visits. As
a woman, you’ll weigh if you’ll tolerate his socks lying around, watching
soccer with him because you don’t want him to go out drinking on weekends and
sometimes putting up with his busy work schedule. On the part of the man,
you’ll establish if you’ll put up with her poor culinary skills, nagging,
asking for money to do her hair and nails from you yet she also gets paid.
On the other hand, maybe cohabitation is a bad idea because once you declare
yourselves a steady couple, condom use ceases to exist. I don’t know where the
sudden faith comes from; that your partner is free of any STIs even though both
of you never took any health tests. And from there, people unfortunately fall
into calamities.
I also know of women who move in with their boyfriends with the idea of sharing
costs when in essence that is a smartly calculated move. Here’s the thing,
when she moves in with you, it means she has done the math; that you’ll pay
rent, buy food, pamper her, etc. In essence, you will take care of all the
bills.
If you subscribe to the notion that life is based on law and ethics, you’ll
concur that it is both morally unacceptable and unconstitutional for two people
to stay together unless they’re married. You can use yourself as a litmus
paper and see the consequential results of moving in with your partner before
you’re married or uphold the biblically and socially acceptable norms of doing
things the correct way.
P Nhlangano