Times Of Swaziland: THRILLS OF BEING A FATHER

THRILLS OF BEING A FATHER
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BY DUDU DUBE on 14/06/2019 23:57:00


Looking forward with more anticipation than even he himself had realised, to the
thrill that he expected fatherhood would bring.
Taking it entirely for granted that he would feel a bond with this small
reincarnation of his own being.
After the first week of attempting to get interested in the unresponsive bundle
that was his son, Ncamiso decided the idea of a baby was not a bad one after
all.
He takes GCWALA into his world of fatherhood.
Who is Ncamiso?
Ncamiso Gama is a young man who is very friendly, flexible, and reachable but
most importantly, a God fearing person and a father to Sakhelo. I am from
Lavundlamanti, but because of work and school, l stay in Ngwane Park.
What does Father’s Day mean to you?
It’s a special time of the year where we honour the most important men in our
lives, the men who have raised us, inspired us and taught us so much about all
the aspects of life. To me, it’s a celebration and appreciation for men who
were able to rise against all odds for someone else to have a better future.
How did you feel when they told you that you will be father?
You know, being a father for the first time is not easy, especially when you
know you still have a long way in tertiary. Firstly, what comes to your mind are
your parents and all the questions that will pop up in your mind, what are they
are going to say? The imaginations of the incident, your mother shouting at you,
let alone your siblings. But as time went by, l had to counsel myself, l had to
grow mentally and otherwise. Most importantly, l had to accept that my son was
on the way.
What fears do you still have as a father?
The fear of not being sure if l will be able to do everything right for my son
but with God’s grace, l hope for the best. The world has changed, children are
exposed to drugs which are very dangerous, l sincerely hope and pray none of it
affects my boy.
What are you most proud of as a father?
Seeing your duplicate is another feeling. Bonding with the child, learning and
seeing new developments in your young one everyday. When you first become a
father, you are thrilled with newness of life. You don’t really realise in the
beginning the gravity of the position. To me more than anything, it’s
realising that I am a father, I am really starting to examine and understand how
important being a good father is. As a father, l have entered a new arena that
is only to be described as overseer. You become responsible, you become a
benefactor, a supplier, a gladiator; a guide and you are always concerned about
your child’s welfare. It’s a good experience, but not for cowards.
What’s your take on teenage pregnancy and fathers that don’t take
responsibility?
I doubt that many teenage pregnancies are planned but there are young mothers
who are very capable and big ups to them. If she still wants to go out and party
and not properly care about the child then it’s obvious she wasn’t ready.
Some young mothers are very maternal and willing to give up their current
lifestyle to take care for the child, but l feel that a major factor is the
support network around the mother. If she has that, then she’s more likely to
become a good mother. And to males that fail to take responsibility, l hate to
break it to you mates, but if you get a girl pregnant, you are responsible for
looking after her. Don’t be a coward. It is true that you may have problems
with the mother but let not your problems affect the newborn.
What was your most funniest moment with your son?
l was so hungry and l found him eating potato chips, l asked him to feed me, he
laughed and pretended to give me one. I opened my mouth and then instead of
feeding me, he fed himself, LOL.
What advice would you give to fathers to be?
Spend some quality time with your friends that do not have children before the
baby comes. Your life is about to change in many ways you can’t imagine and
one of the consequences of that is that it’s going to become more challenging
for you to relate to your non-parent friendsand for them to relate to you and
your spouse/partner. You will still be friends and all but, they will still
think that meeting up for drinks somewhere in town at 10pm sounds like a
reasonable idea but you won’t. You will want to talk about some funny thing
that your child did and they will get bored because they do not understand the
feeling of being a father.
What would you change about the world if given the chance?
I would certainly make everyone equal, so that everyone has the same chances in
life. I would also like people to value what’s important. Lastly, l would make
animals to be able to talk to us.
How many children do you wish to have?
Two is fine for me.
What is your mantra?
You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes
your life story must be held by your own hand.