Times Of Swaziland: THINGS 2017 TAUGHT ME

THINGS 2017 TAUGHT ME
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By Nontobeko Tshabalala on 06/01/2018 14:37:00


Tomorrow is the last day of the year and it seems like a good time to take stock
of how this year panned out. I entered the year tired – just weighed down by
things I hadn’t achieved yet and obsessing over why success seemingly takes
forever to manifest.
 Twelve months later I have an entirely different outlook. I will itemise the
lessons I learnt and want to share because I like lists (ngiyadlala that’s a
bad Facebook joke).
1. Patience
We live in a tricky time where social media is such a big part of our lives, and
because of that it means we have unprecedented access to the lives of the people
we know. We see people getting fancy new jobs, we see people flying all over the
world, people graduating, people getting married, people having children, making
and enjoying their money. It’s beautiful to see all of that until you turn the
mirror on yourself and wonder where your glow up is and why you aren’t
checking all the boxes you have made for yourself.
That personal scrutiny can take you down a deep and dark hole. Until you realise
that you’re okay. Your pace is not particularly slower than that of your
peers, you realise that the roads to success or personal fulfilment are many and
you are on your own course.
As the risk of sounding like a cliché, you realise that you are also able to
slay in your lane. Someone still looks at you and is inspired by what you are
doing and that has to count for something because it is what leads you to being
inspired by yourself.
2. Diligence
The thing about diligence is I believe it serves one better than talent does.
Obviously if you have talent and are diligent, then for all intents and purposes
you should be unstoppable.  I will beg your indulgence and share a story about
myself. I’ve loved writing from the time I first learnt how, when I realised I
could communicate with people and evoke emotion without opening my mouth my life
changed. Which is why when I was given the opportunity to pen this column five
years ago, I did not take it lightly and I still don’t. My natural talent for
writing and using this space to advocate and entertain, led to the Head of the
Youth Division at the African Union Commission (AUC) stumbling across my column
and she reached out to me to work on an intergenerational session with the
division.
Which opened my eyes to the opportunities that the AUC had for young people and
I moved to Addis Ababa and worked in the highest office in the continent, where
my gifts were honed and tested. During the experience I chose to keep my column
going, after days that often ended at 2am I would come home and write my column
and email my editor. Every single week (well...) and that has been my biggest
take away about this. Be diligent and tenacious even when it makes no sense for
you to keep going, especially then.
3. Honour
A few months ago my cousin and I went to visit our grandfather. She had just
returned from the United States of America as a Fulbright Scholar with her
Masters in Operational Research and I had come back from the AUC. Our
grandfather turned 95 on December 9 but he remains lucid and wise, so he
addressed us individually and congratulated us. The words he spoke over our
lives remain with me to this day. His one requirement of all his grandchildren
when we leave the country or return is for us to see him. The lesson in that is
you have to go beyond loving and respecting the elders in your family and life
in general and settle comfortably in honouring them. We honoured our
grandfather’s one requirement and he continued to cover us in his blessings
and assurances that we are still on the right track. It matters so much.
4. Ambition
The most tragic thing about ambition is that it cannot be taught. You have to
want more for yourself. This is why I always encourage people that if you ever
have the opportunity to do so you should travel and see the world just for
context. Because seeing how large it is will show you how much is still out
there for you to lay a claim to.
5. Say yes
There are more lessons and growth opportunities for you when you say yes and
either fail or succeed than when you say no and remain in your safety bubble. I
cannot even tell you the number of times my willingness to say yes has led to me
being thoroughly embarrassed but there are lessons in failure which you can
never find when you walk an unencumbered line to success.
I wish you all a happy and bountiful new year.