Times Of Swaziland: Why  pastors cheat on their wives

Why  pastors cheat on their wives
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 NHLANHLA MATHUNJWA on 29/05/2011 00:00:00


MBABANE – Some pastors claim that their wives’ actions lead them to
adulterous relationships.
The clergymen allege that some of their wives do not support them as they do the
work of God, which results in them being tempted by other women.
Pastors revealed this during a One Day Church Leaders Dialogue on Multiple
Concurrent Partnership held at the Mountain Inn.
It was held on Wednesday.
The event was attended by about 50 pastors from various denominations.
Most of the pastors who took part in the dialogue organised by the Population
Services International (PSI) are affiliates of the three main church bodies.
These are League of African Christian Churches, Swaziland Conference of Churches
(SCC) and the Council of Swaziland Churches (CSC).
During this meeting, most pastors were concerned about the behaviour of their
wives, saying the women were too busy to give them the needed attention.
Leading the discussions during the dialogue was Reverend Johaness Mazibuko of
the Mbabane Alliance Church.
Mazibuko is well known for his skills in counselling couples who are preparing
to get married and those who have problems in their marriages.
It emerged at the meeting that some pastors had been preaching for years but
their wives were not known to the public.
Interviewed later, Mazibuko told the Times SUNDAY that during the dialogue it
transpired that most pastors blamed their wives for not supporting them in
ministry.
"A pastor needs a lot of support especially from his wife," he said.
"She should be close to you at all times if possible. This will reduce the
chances of being engaged in an adulterous affair. You find that women do not
understand the importance of being close to us at all times especially when we
are in the ministry on a full time bases. We work with different people and at
times you become tempted. If your wife is close to you it becomes easy to fight
those temptations."
He said pastors called upon PSI to organise another dialogue where their spouses
would also be invited.
"Pastors felt it was important for their wives to know their feelings as they
needed their support," he said.
"If the wife becomes busy, especially when you would be preaching in areas that
are far from home, some pastors end up getting other ladies from the church to
accompany them. You then find that an adulterous relationship is formed. It was
agreed that if possible, our wives should be with us at all times to avoid the
negative publicity that we end up getting."
Mazibuko said other issues the pastors raised was that some of them normally
compare their wives with other church members something that should not happen.
"Some admitted that at times it happened that they compare their wives with
other women in the church," he said.
"In most cases the women they compare their wives with are married. Pastors were
warned not to compare their wives with others as this was not good. They were
reminded that God was against adulterous relationships and therefore, they
should avoid such."
He said pastors have the tendency of leaving their homes and spend time in
hotels claiming that they do not want to be disturbed as they want to spend time
in the presence of God.
"Pastors were told that doing this was very dangerous as they could be tempted
and find themselves spending quality time with other women instead of their
wives," he said.
"At home there is everything and there is no reason one would say he needs to
stay in a hotel to spend some time with God without being disturbed. Pastors
were warned to be careful as they are expected to be role models. They are
expected to lead by example especially because they have lives of people in
their hands."
Bongiwe Zwane, PSI Public Relations Officer, said the dialogue was specifically
for church leaders because they have a large following.
"Everyone belongs to a certain church and talking to the leaders was the right
forum of addressing issues involving multiple relationships," she said.
"We are also concerned at reports about church leaders being involved in more
than one relationship and that is why we felt such an issue should be addressed.
It is one of the reasons why we invited them to such a forum so they could share
the problems they encounter that make them to be involved in such
relationships."
Zwane encourage the public to stick to one partner and this being the person
they have chosen to be involved in a relationship with."
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Comments
That kind of faith is no more found Pastor Mdluli.The way you put it is so
divine and powerful ,only those Christians who themselves died but Christ live
in them can live that Word. We are so pampered with a gospel that deceives
.Telling us that suffering is not our portion when the bible teaches the
opposite.In fact it says we will be tried and hated and will suffer in the world
and go through all kinds of suffering but those who endure to the end will
inherit the kingdom.What do you say of the gospel that teachs us that we were
meant to have plenty and be glamorous in dressing and pimp our selves and have
every latest car make at the expense of the poor or instead of giving to the
poor. This is the same lifestyle that has contaminated and corrupted the
christian's real calling. Jesus doesn't really talk about us having plenty and
living a flamboyant lifestyle but he promised us that surely God will supply all
our needs according to his riches in glory,that is guaranteed. Otherwise he
wouldn't have fed the 5000 and made them share fish and bread but would have
told them its sin to be poor because he has come to make them rich,which is what
is preached by this prosperity gospel.But he gave us a lesson of shearing.With
this attitude don't expect people to sacrifice for their marriages to
work.Forgiving is a foreign word to us now. Even people who call themselves
Prophets,Apostles,Pastors,Bishops,Prophetess and what ever title,they look for
every small opportunity to get out of their marriages,no one want to work on it
through forgiving and pain.This is because our thinking and lifestyle is too
much influenced by the world than by the Word of God. Unless our minds are
renewed,die to self, separate ourselves from the world and its it things and
take counsel only from the word of God not from organisations and world
standards,we are really going to hell.This is because judgement will be about
being a good servant in doing the Word not what suited you in your situations
but doing the word and persevering in the Word to the end,then you will earn
your everlasting life.People shouldn't think God can be fooled,we can fool each
other but not God.Some will say God loves us and will understand,but we forget
that those who bring his Word to contempt knowingly won't be forgiven and God
expect more from those who know the truth than from those who don't. Where does
this present Church stands in the presence of this analysis? I am afraid,God
help us.
May 29, 2011, 12:42 PM, Stones (stones.m68@hotmail.co.uk)
Swaziland was the pride of the Southern part of Africa when it came to the
gospel,Swazis use to talk and live the Gospel.Not any more. But I still take
pride to the fact that though not expects of holiness I lived with the
generation that was proud of the holiness in the gospel.Shame on the youth and
this generation,what have they done to this gospel.Just like Paul to the
Corinthians
May 29, 2011, 12:42 PM, Stones (stones.m68@hotmail.co.uk)