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NAVIGATING DIFFICULT TIMES

19/01/2021 08:22:00 Rev. J.V. Mazibuko

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Last week we mentioned three things you need in order to navigate difficult times.

Firstly, we said you need to acknowledge and discuss your feelings with loved ones. This helps in dealing with the negative emotions resulting from the difficulties you are facing. Secondly, we said you need to adopt an attitude of gratitude which acts as a ‘natural antidepressant’; and lastly, we said you need to have a positive outlook on the future – your best days are ahead of you. If you keep moving forward, you open yourself to the new. You cannot afford to bury yourself in the difficult times because they are passing. God has good plans for your life; keep on keeping on!

In addition to the truths we discussed last week, we also need to take care of our spirit. Acknowledging that there is a greater being than ourselves, who is ultimately in control of the events around us, helps us realise and accept our limitations. During difficult times, families should make time to look to God for direction. The Bible talks about God giving us peace that surpasses all understanding. This means having peace when the environment dictates otherwise. We must learn to accept the things we cannot change and rather focus our energy on things we can change.

We, for example, can change what we choose to listen to. Therefore, in addition to what we have discussed above, during difficult times, especially these times of COVID-19, we can choose to filter our information sources. We must not expose our families to false, unverified information that perpetuates fear. If we are not carefully choosing our information sources, we will find ourselves and families getting more stressed when there is already enough to stress us with all the losses and sickness surrounding us.

Another challenge to navigate during difficult times is that of isolation. Oftentimes when people go through difficult seasons, it seems easier to isolate from people in order to avoid pity or discussing the difficulties. However, this can be dangerous for you and your family as it can result in increased anxiety. We all need community and social connections. During the lockdown, it makes more sense to stay away from people because we all know the virus is transmitted from person to person through droplets from nose and mouth. However, extended periods of isolation can have a negative psychological impact, which can be exacerbated by the sickness and sometimes death of family members due to COVID-19.

Restricted

Social distancing does not have to mean social isolation. We are such a privileged generation because although we have restricted physical connections, we can make use of technology to stay in touch with family and friends, even during lockdown. So, during these times where we need to isolate, let us keep in contact with friends and family as this will help us get through the difficult times. Human beings were made by God to need community, so let us keep our social connections even in difficult seasons of life.

Moreover, during difficult times it helps to remove focus from self and look outwardly at what other people are going through. Actually, if you do that, you will find that other people are going through worse. As a family, offer help and comfort to other people beside yourselves - teach this to your children. Empathy fosters positive healthy feelings and heals negative psychological problems. Send condolence messages, offer prayers and words of encouragement to others. This can go a long way in helping you navigate your difficult times.

Focusing on your difficulties puts a magnifying glass on the problem. Rather look to God and extend His love to others who might be needing support. As spouses, begin at home, see your partner’s difficulties and empathise with them. If you do not normally do, offer to help with the children’s schoolwork, housework, cooking, gardening, etc. If it is financial struggles you are going through, be less demanding; help each other in trying to find solutions and alternative sources of income.

Perhaps the difficult season is illness, try to understand the one who is sick – it is not easy to be dependent especially when you have been independent, so maybe tempers might flare, but the healthy spouse should try to put themselves in the shoes of the ailing spouse. Show you care, and although difficult, keep your cool. Find ways to deal with your emotions but help the vulnerable partner. Difficult times come and go, so as families we need to develop toolkits to survive difficult times.

As Christians, our source of help through tough times is God. We look to Him even through this pandemic and we know this season will pass. In the meantime, we need to find ways to survive and build resilience for the future. Trust God, extend His love, avoid social isolation, develop an attitude of gratitude and keep moving forward. The storm will pass, and we will together return to some kind of normalcy. Tomorrow will definitely be different, but if we keep the faith to soldier on, we will make it to the other side.