ROMANTIC REAL-ATIONSHIPS

Romantic relationships, for the wrong reasons, and the issues therein have been making all the headlines for a while now. I say wrong reasons because what dominates the discussions and newspaper headlines about this topic, more often than not, involves brutality and horrific violence rather than the cheery celebration of love and emotional attachment that it should be.

Of course, this is worrying. One may ask themselves, how does a relationship formed by two people who come together with a similar intention of emotionally attaching, loving, caring and procreating with one another end in a terrifying scene of horror and gory blood bath? The scale of escalation is unfathomable by the naked eye and, therefore, this speaks to numerous mainly psychological factors that culminate into situations such as these, which is why gender-based violence and all associated with it are so high.

Nowadays, the dynamics of romantic relationships are vulnerable to disruption and unrest, mainly because of the broadening in a variety of distractions and influencers (no, not the social media ones) that play a part. It even would not be an exaggeration to go as far as to say, romantic relationships are gradually losing their sense of originality, of genuineness and meaning, all of which have been substituted for vapid, manipulative and emotionally taxing situations that are guised as relationships, which unfortunately, many people find themselves in. This cannot be psychologically healthy for either male or female and overtime, the toxicity that brews becomes a boiling mess that spills over to detrimental effect.

Foundations

Relationships are being built on superficial foundations with (often) financial motives and benefits being the centre. This has left neglected a key component of a healthy relationship; the emotional dimension. This establishes an artificial bond between the two individuals, one which is extremely fragile and is maintained by control, dominance, manipulation and sometimes violence by he who has the power; in frequent cases, the men. Due to this, the relationship becomes lob-sided and because the male, for instance, has dominant control over his partner by virtue of what he possesses, he ends up feeling entitled to ownership the very being, that is; the woman. This may be somewhat of an explanation as to why someone feels the need to physically harm and eventually kill their partner when they attempt or promise to leave them.

Upon choosing who to engage in a romantic relationship with, what many people seem to fail at is being able to read, understand and judge the other person’s personality and character. To successfully do that, it is important to not be immediately sold by that person’s presenting qualities, but rather to focus deeper than that. True to say you may never know someone’s truest being to the slightest detail, and this point places emphasis on the importance of giving yourself time to know and learn the person you are considering emotionally investing in. 

Options

This will not only allow you time to consider your options adequately, but it will also open your eyes to any possible ‘red flags’ your potential mate is bearing and, therefore, subsequently making a better decision.

My observation of what normally goes lacking in many relationships is the art of communication. Two people who share an authentic emotional bond should be able to share openly their feelings, thoughts and opinions between them. Communication, although sometimes underrated, is the basis of many a solid emotional attachments as both partners are consistently enlightened about the intentions of the other. This applies best in situations of conflict which both individuals must help solve; the ability and freedom to express how you feel and think openly goes a long way.

Conflict and arguments are part and parcel of any situation involving people, let alone a relationship. These things are normal. It is how you recover from them that spells maturity, commitment and a willingness to make it work. Send comments to

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