ESSENCE OF RELATIONAL LEADERSHIP

LEADERSHIP is key to making things happen in an individual, family, community and national level. Warren Bennis said; “Leadership is a function of knowing yourself, having a vision that is well communicated, building trust among colleagues and taking effective action to realise your own leadership potential.” Each of us is a leader in our sphere of influence.

This is because leadership is a process by which we positively influence others to become better citizens. Real leaders bring the best out of other people. The essence of leadership is the ability to build effective relationships. Effective relationships are built on the foundation of love, respect, trust, understanding and communication. Phil Pringle said; “The essence of any great relationship is love.”

Therefore leaders must genuinely love people. The secret of great leaders is not found only in their ability to lead, organise or manage, but in their love for people. The secret of effective living at any level is love. Actually most people’s greatest sense of need is not just money or health, but communication and loving relationships.

They want to feel love from their leaders, employers, pastors etc. We all long for good loving relationships with others, whether it is with our children, colleagues, husbands and wives. “Supportive, intimate connections with other people seem tremendously important,” says Psychologist David Myers.

Making connections or loving people does not usually come easily, especially for some of us who have task-oriented personalities. We must work at it because love is usually a decision of commitment more than just a spontaneous feeling. Loving people means treating them right. Loving certain people may require an effort on our part; making sacrifices for their well-being and helping them achieve their goals in life.

If we fail to possess genuine love for people, no matter how skilled we might be in issues of leadership, we will sound like a clanging cymbal in their ears.

“Living successfully with other people always begins and ends with love,” says Phil Pringle. We are all created with the capacity to love. Love should be the motivating factor in everything we do or say.

The great Apostle Paul said; “If I speak in tongues of man and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ‘‘If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have no love I gain nothing.” (1 Cor 13:1-3).

Actually without love the most magnificent manifestation of gifts and the most heroic self-sacrifice amount to nothing. The love of people should be our great motivator. Love is the defining characteristic of a great family, community or nation.
When we cultivate an atmosphere of love in our homes and at our workplaces, the results will be high performance for the children at school and employees at their workplaces.

A place where accusations, gossip, back biting, negative criticism, judgementalism, faultfinding, resentment, retaliation and unforgiveness are the order of the day will always undermine the potential of people.
Paul’s magnificent hymn of love in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 is uniquely amazing and challenging at the same time. He says; “Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails…”
Love conquers all. Love always puts others first. When we walk in love we will always find value in people and in what they do for a living, whether they are rich or poor. As we show love to people and what they do, we add value to their lives.
When we walk in love, we make everyone we meet in life feel significant. As we walk in love we will refuse to speak evil or gossip about others. Charles Spurgeon said; “Suspect those who will lead you to suspect others.” Genuine love is not suspicious.
Love helps us walk in the boundaries where we can still receive correction when we miss it. Walking in love helps us unpack our emotional baggages and forgive those who have offended us. To forgive is a choice we make in obedience to God’s word.
The healing of the pain inside is a process. Just because we still feel the pain inside, does not necessarily mean that we didn’t forgive. Allow the love of God to become the medicine that heals the pain inside. Love helps us survive terrible negative experiences of life, rape, abuse, accusations etc because love conquers all. Let love come alive in our homes, communities, workplaces and in our individual lives. Genuine quality love is the basis of all relationships and what makes the miracle of national unity possible. 

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