DISTURBING REALITY OF FAMILY VALUES

IN most developing and developed countries, family values are often defined by use of political, traditional, modern and post-modern approaches.

The structure of family relationships unfailingly influences individual economic behaviour and attitudes. We casually define family values regarding the role of the family and the love and respect that children need to have for their parents.

History has taught us that strong family ties imply more reliance on the family as an economic unit which provides goods and services and less on the market and on the government for social insurance.

With strong family ties home production is higher, labour force participation of women and youngsters, and geographical mobility is lower. As an independent thinker, it is clear to me now that ‘family values’ are something of a catch all, cure all phrase in contemporary social life, on a whole range of levels and the precise definition of all those values varies according to respective political, economic, social and moral sentiments of the user.

My starting point was that family values are neither a pan-human universal nor a stable or essential entity. As social scientists, I believe they are socially constructed as equated to being natural or biologically given. It is common belief that in both developing and Western societies those families with strong ties provide many home produced goods and services, like child care, home cooking in family meals, caring for the elderly, children education etc.

This of course requires time away from market activities and lower participation in the labour force especially for women and the youth, who stay at home longer.

In our communities we advocate for strong family values that are seen to preserve family relations. Universally, families are the first level of social influence for our children. A positive parental style enhances a child’s positive behaviour and is viewed as a good socialisation tool.

A child is trained to conform, obey and comply with societal values like respect and participation. The indication is that, if a child leaves his nuclear or extended family and goes to face the world, he/she should be operational with positive family values that always put the family first.

The idea is to arm a child to be resilient when faced with adversity and to be acknowledged by society. Moreover, delighted parents imagine that a child with strong family values will function to be a positive role model in the near future.

It goes without saying that families seen to be lacking positive family values are often shunned, stigmatised, labelled and discriminated upon. Institutions like education and religion tend to associate children who come from such ‘weak’ valued families as victims of crime, ill health, drug abuse, school drop outs and all sorts of social ills.

In this article, the author wants to make it clear she is not claiming which family value system is excellent. The reasoning is that due to modernisation, family values are undeniably changing and steadily too. For an example, the marriage institution today does not necessarily uphold reliable strong family relationships.

In short, this institution does not always serve the purpose or need of a family anymore, like it used to be in the past. Additionally, this system has become egalitarian by ‘providing’ family members many more options in terms of relationships.

Many studies have challenged the understanding of family values. As much as a strong value family system encourages social and economic activity and togetherness (as a core value) it often tones down individualism to a greater extent. Schools expect pupils to contest academically single-handedly faced by new avenues of individual competition, and may result in one not fitting in properly.

Feelings of being isolated and loss of self-esteem are very common. Depression and suicide have become very common in schools. On the other hand, if family values are weak, a teacher cannot simply take the role of a parent that conveniently.

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