ENEMIES OF RELATIONSHIPS

ONE of the greatest hindrances to political, social and economical progress in the nations of the world is the inability of humans to effectively relate with each other in these areas.

We usually ignore, misinterpret or misunderstand each other in these areas. As a matter of fact this is what usually leads to unnecessary political, economical and social wars; which finally may lead to brutal physical wars accompanied by loss of human life and property. Effective relationships begin at the point of understanding, transparency, respect, trust and cultivating the art of effective communication.

Many humans are so obsessed with me, myself and I to the detriment of our ability to relate properly with others. This is the mentality and attitude that has crippled Africa politically, economically and socially whereby rendering her technological and scientific capacity lame. The spirit of extreme selfishness and greed that our leaders in various spheres of society have embraced has brought a curse on communities and nations of Africa. A curse is that which releases unseen negative forces to govern and lead an individual, a marriage, a community or nation into poverty or perpetual adverse circumstances. The Aramaic word for curse is naqab, meaning: to stab, pierce, perforate, and to strike through with violence in order to bring to disgrace shame, confusion, reproach, dishonor and insignificance. It’s time for us to divorce wrong mentalities, wrong philosophies of life and debilitating cultures. We must not allow our minds to be shaped by selfishness, greed, corruption and ignorance. Selfishness, greed, corruption and dishonesty are enemies of effective relationships.

Selfishness is the quality or state of being selfish, exclusive regard to one’s own interest or happiness; it is that supreme self-love or self-preference which leads a person to direct his or her purposes to the advancement of his or her own interest, power or happiness, without regarding those of others. Effective relationships demand that we refuse to put ourselves first, but we choose to be willing to give our time, money or effort for others’ well-being. Taking advantage of opportunities or others without regard for the consequences on others, the community or nation is opportunism, self-seeking and self-interest behavior. It is an anti-social and anti-progress vice.

Greed is one of the devastating enemies of relationships, be it political, social, economical, or business relationships. Greed is that excessive desire to acquire or possess more (especially more material wealth) than one really needs or deserves. It’s an inclination or obsession to want things. When we possess an insatiable desire for things or wealth, it will affect our ability to honestly relate with others. Corruption is another enemy of relationships, especially in the corporate world because it erodes trust among colleagues. The dictionary defines corruption as the lack or integrity or honesty (especially susceptible to bribery). It is the use of a position of trust for dishonest gain. When we use our senior positions to offer promotions to our female subordinates only if they sleep with us, that corrupts our relationship with them; and we may never again be objective in our later professional dealings with them.

Dishonest is another enemy of effective relationships. To be dishonest is to be deceptive or fraudulent. A dishonest person is one disposed to cheat, defraud or deceive in their dealings, and also capable of being corrupted. It is usually difficult to trust an individual whose culture is dishonesty. Therefore we all must endeavor to cultivate a culture of being honest with those we relate with, those who are our true friends. In order for relationships to be successful at any level, and in different spheres of our existence, we must all be aware of the enemies of effective relationships and intentionally weed them out of our lives. Society is much better when we positively relate in our marriages, workplaces, politically, economically and socially.

Pride is a stumbling block to building meaningful relationships. As a matter of fact pride and self-importance will cause a man or woman to seem wise in their own estimation and arrogantly confident in their own ideas. Pride is a downward motion which takes relationships down, and thereby destroying unity.

Humility is key to effective relationships in any sphere of life. Humility empowers us to be able to submit to one another and see the differences in others as necessary ingredients needed for community and national building. Self-introspection is important. How are my thoughts, words and actions towards others? Do I appreciate the difference in others? Do I celebrate other people’s accomplishments? Am I a fault finder or a solution finder?
Do I get upset when corrected for wrongdoing? How do I correct others when they have done something wrong? When things are not done my way, can I still be supportive in implementing that idea? Vision 2022 demands that we be submissive to one another. We must embrace the mentality of nation builders. Nation builders are humble and secure in who they are; they are not in competition with anybody, but in competition with the best they can be in creating a progressive and better society.

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