SHAKEN BY THE BALLAD OF MILLENNIAL DEPRESSION

THIS year has been quite intense in the first quarter. I am actually shaken with all that has transpired – both socially, personally and the overall state of the world including politics.

But within all this mess, I got lost. I gave of myself such that I had nothing left for me.
Jenn Jackson’s article; ‘Stop Giving Yourself Away: On Millennials, Depression and Personal Growth’ fully articulated my own experience over the past few months. Jackson says; “I give myself away all the time. To my children, to my partner, to my mum, to my friends, to my job, my boss, my peers.

‘‘My studies, my television, the world. I give away a lot more than I keep.” This, she says, leads to the high occurrence of depression among millennials due to ‘helicopter parenting, high academic achievement expectation…these young people find themselves struggling with suicidal ideation, depressive episodes and anxiety about their futures.” This scenario is a familiar sight, not only within my circle of friends, but I myself have felt this way. We, as young people, have been pigeon-holed as this lazy and apathetic generation.

But the reality for most of us is that we are working and trying to establish ourselves while maintaining the difficult relationship of doing what we want versus what our families think is better.
It took a random conversation with a friend to figure out that I was depressed. Yes, I’m still functioning as a well-balanced human being but it was all robotic routine. The emptiness was well hidden behind smiles and Instagram filters.
Many millennials feel this way, overwhelmed by life’s demands and imposter syndrome plaguing most interactions at work. There isn’t a handbook on how to deal with such depression, especially in black communities where it isn’t considered a serious affliction. Therefore, where do we go for help to deal with all these internal wars that rage every day?

We end up keeping all these things to ourselves, dark thoughts constantly swirling in our heads when we lay alone at night but still performing the human routine in the light. That’s why so many young people are killing themselves; we are tired and always negotiating expectations – our own and others’.
Another problem, as Jackson points out, is learning how to say ‘NO’. We have somehow been brainwashed into thinking that ‘no’ is a bad word in life, that we should be ‘yes’ people all the time. Sure, you can be a yes person, but saying no can be helpful in alleviating stress and depression. It’s okay to say no to that invitation, it’s okay to say no to your dad, it’s okay to say no. Saying no is an act of self-love at times, I know this now.

My own battle with depression and suicidal ideation has taught me that I’m not alone but we can only address these issues only if we talk; suffering alone in silence as a performance of strength can be detrimental to one’s well-being.
It’s also taught me that taking care of myself isn’t being selfish and that self-care is important for all of us, so we can be available for others.

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