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I LOVE MY PARENTS EQUALLY

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When parents fight it affects us in a number of ways. As children we expect them to guide us in life because we trust them.


Parents at times exchange harsh words without even realising or thinking about how that exchange would affect us. When these words get to us, they are like a serine that keeps ringing and ringing; they are like a piercing knife that has only come to torture you.


But the reality is that we also shouldn’t forget that they also are not angels; they breathe and do everything that other people do on a daily basis.
I know that if your parents always fight, as a child you would be worried and fear would engulf you as negative thoughts about their marriage ending creeps into your mind. 


John’s mum once said; “If it wasn’t for these kids, I would pack my things and leave this house!” John felt like a burden to his parents and left a suicide note that read; “I’m gone now; you can leave the house mummy”.
Our parents sometimes say things they don’t mean. Just like everyone else, when our parents are angry, they don’t control what comes out of their mouths as they utter some unpalatable things and forget that behind the door there are children watching the entire episode.


There are a number of why parents fight and as children it is not for us to get involved. It could be different reasons from the home front to work and elsewhere. Some issues are not easy to address, which result in parents failing to handle them thus the fights.
And yes, money is at times the cause of all the challenges and as I said, it’s not for us children to figure out why.
Rather let’s look at what we could or could not do if such a situation arises.


RESPECT...It’s very easy to be irritated by fighting parents but don’t stop listening to them, continue to follow their rules.
DO NOT PICK A SIDE…They’re going to be situations when your parents will want you to pick a side, maybe it will be questions like ‘are you going to live with me ,or your father?’ Kindly say ‘mum, dad I love you both and do not make me pick a side, this is about the two of you, not me.’


TALK TO YOUR PARENTS…Tell them how the current situation is making you feel, they will understand. And maybe talking to them will end the fights because just like being told by your five-year-old sibling to fasten your seatbelt (I have to deal with that). They might not admit it but your maturity will surprise them and they will exchange a look that says ‘we need to stop fighting’


DO NOT TURN THIS INTO AN OPPORTUNITY…Just because mummy and daddy fight, don’t be the one to start one. For example you will ask for something and dad will refuse then you approach mum because you know she will say yes just to make him mad.  I get a lot of comments like ‘What do you know? You’re only a 16-year-old!’ My English teacher always says ‘it’s not how old you are or how tall you are, it’s what you do with the years that you have been given.”
Instead of complaining about a situation, see it as an opportunity and learn from it, but do not end there, share your experience so that you live after death.


The situation at home shouldn’t affect your grades or your relationships at school. As hard as it would be, remind your parents about it when things were good. Getting good grades would impress and make them realise that they make a good pair and you are the blessing that came with their marriage.


Before I forget, drugs and alcohol are not the answer, to your parent’s attention! That will just put more stress on your parents and cause frustration to every member in the family. Please remember drugs and alcohol will always give you a script that has wrong answers.


To avoid this, keep busy! There is nothing as encouraging as a teenager who never gets bored but also finds entertainment in the right places. Your parents are human and humans have disagreements.
You are like a seed to your parents and this is the time to blossom and show them that all the watering and pruning they did for you was worth it. Don’t run, as much as you need your parents…during this time, they need you too.

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