DEPRESSION IS REAL

It’s been a minute right? All I can say about my two-week absence from this column is that depression is real. At least that’s how I describe my lack of full productivity when I feel overwhelmed by the overall pain of human existence.
I felt sorry for my poor bae because a part of him was feeling like my state of mind had something to do with what he did or didn’t do. As for the editor of this newspaper, bless his frustrated and kind understanding soul.

I believe I’m not the only one who often has it all together but still feels this way once in a while. Many people though, will refuse to acknowledge this feeling of melancholy; probably because of the stigma attached to being mentally unwell, which is classified as a disability and disability is a curse, many wrongly believe.

It is also the perception that any sign of any form of weakness is an absolute No-No and must never be revealed to others.
It’s my theory that it is often the ‘strong’ who go through such motions and how can they not because humans make this existence thing so complicated at times.
Humans will make you want to get off the bus even before it reaches your destination.

Just the other day, recently, in court the magistrate, in his judgment said he’d scratch off the costs for swimming lessons from my child maintenance claim because ‘it’s unnecessary at this stage’, he said. This was just five days after four adults had drowned a few kilometres from my house in Hartebeesport Dam when their boat caught fire during a party cruise.
I know a handful of people whose toddler children died in shallow waters because they couldn’t swim but hey, ‘it’s unnecessary’ to teach them while they’re young according to the law of this magistrate. Depressing. If this doesn’t require 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children…

Stigma

Speaking of children and judgments – this week we witnessed the story of a mother who threw two of her children to their death off her balcony in downtown Johannesburg.

While I can take those who simply mourn the loss of lives, I just cannot help but judge those who judge the woman as being ‘so cruel and heartless’ and ‘why didn’t she just rather give them away?’ I don’t know what this woman was going through but I know she spent at least all the years of her children’s lives giving all her strength to fighting life’s never-ending demons.

I remember even when it was reported that Miss Swaziland Tiffany Simelane had committed suicide; someone (of the many Judge Judys of that day) said ‘why kill yourself when a man with one hand – Black Coffee – is making the best of his life; being an inspiration to all of us.

‘ I mean, if he can live through life like that, why not you as completely able-bodied and beautiful woman?’ I’m sorry but you can watch Oprah inspire the world on TV all your life and even get to touch her billion Dollar bosom in between telling each other how great and purposeful you both are but the reality is she’s not there when desolation strikes; not physically and not even in your head.

My friend’s seven-year-old daughter put it succinctly all those 10 years ago; “Mommy, its fine now when I’m saying it after you but when I’m there…” Her mother had told her to respond with “I’m not fat, I’m chubby and it’s cute” to schoolmates who were teasing her about her weight.

Mental Health Plans

Mental health is a serious issue and unfortunately there seems to very little acknowledgement of it as part of the human trajectory hence the deficient awareness and interventions around it.
According to research by the South African Depression and Anxiety Group as many as one in five people will, or does suffer from a mental illness in their lives and mental illness includes depression, anxiety, job/relationship stress and abuse of substances such as alcohol and drugs.

Some African countries like South Africa, although they have a Mental Health Act and policies that commit to providing mental health interventions at primary health care level are still struggling with putting this promise into action. My research reveals that Swaziland does not even have an existing mental health plan and the latest legislation on this topic was last updated in 1978.

This is worrying for our countries when every day, it is evident in newspaper reports, that some of the violent crimes we read about can be attributed to untreated mental health problems. It is also said because it’s been said that we are emotional and spiritual beings going through a human existence. Otherwise we’d be out there at Kruger Park grazing and ruminating with the rest of the animals.

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