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EMBRACING BEING SINGLE THIS VALZ

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Being a singleton is awesome and fun and mainly, it is time for discovering self but when the Valentine’s Day atmosphere hits the air, it can strongly get to a person.
As much as in many people are in love, there are many who have decided to stay single (well, some it is not by choice).
Simiso Mabunda, a gym guru and model, is single and he has not let the ‘February’ spirit of love let him regret the decision he made.
Simiso, from the depths of Lomabamba eMashibhini, is loving his me time and he revealed that to GCWALA at a photoshoot which was at Happy Valley Hotel.
Not only is this yummy and stylish man happily single and keeping fit, he is also a model who has had his fair share of time on the runway. His last gig was at the internationally acclaimed Tshwane Fashion Festival in Pretoria where he joined other models from Top Models Swaziland including Pluto Mkhulisi, Pearl Mkhonta, Snowee Simelane and others.
Here is how Simiso perceives love and how he will be spending his single Valentine’s Day.

What is your philosophy about relationships?
Instead of recognising   capacity to teach us how to communicate, forgive and love more and that true happiness comes as a result of the sustained emotional investment in other people.  We expect our relationships to make us happy and meet our needs just to keep up with the trend. This misunderstanding impacts our ability to commit. I must say that building a commitment into a love that works comes from developing the ability to remember that you really love someone even if you are not feeling it. However, by injecting playful intimacy and unusual problem solving experiences you actually strengthen the bond that allows you to deal with the challenges that life inevitably generates. This immunises the commitment from always taking relationship too seriously, even though most people fear commitment. Well in actual fact it isn’t commitment they fear but change.
I cannot be so deaf about change. Change could dispose relationships but could also save them. The people we love change, basically everything in life is constantly changing and constantly evolving for a good or bad cause. Anyway change is necessary for personal growth.  However, relationship is the best education we engage in to become a better person.

Currently you are single... Is it by choice or it’s a forced situation?
I used to dread the thought of being single and alone. I entered into official single life status much earlier than the majority of people my age. The experience seemed completely foreign to me. It was like learning a new language, learning to be comfortable in my own skin, learning to be confident in facing challenges alone and to take risks and learn to embrace hidden yet extraordinary passions.
Now that’s what I love, it makes me passionate about pursuing the things that I’m afraid of, the things that challenge me. I embrace being single in every way, shape and form. Being single isn’t what one should fear. I am happy because I’m single by choice not by chance.

How long have you been single and how has been the journey?
About 32 months When I decided to be single I was met with variety of reactions “are you sure you want to be single now???” People tried to convince me that my life was so imperfect. Honestly being single has been a rollercoaster. It has taught me everything I admire about this life. You allow yourself to test and push your limits. You will hit your low points but you will always find the will to rise above. You learn to trust yourself, your gut and follow your heart. You become your own source of happiness. You realise that being single is simply a way of life reminding you to be yourself again. You allow your spirit to connect with the world around you; you get high by overcoming battles on your own. You find patience in God’s plan. I won’t lie romance is wonderful but it is hardly the only thing worth living for.  It is important to learn how to create happiness from within rather than hoping to find it from somebody.

According to you, what are the advantages of being single?
Advantages of being single... well, with all the ‘free’ time you have it is the perfect opportunity to get down to your ideal weight, get a second job. It is also time to put more money in your pocket. Honestly being in a relationship is expensive especially to what our black women have become.
No need to feel guilt over what you post on social media. Unfortunately the wrong post, photo or comment can be taken out of context and easily misconstrued when you are in a relationship. Single life? Awesome. Happiness? All mine.  Birthdays? No Teddy bears. Fights? none.  Insecurities ? None. Phone calls ? Clients. Texts? Later. Life is much simpler.

Now that it’s Valentines season, are the lonely jitters creeping in?
Of course, there always was, not to mention now that we approaching the ‘lovers day’. Look, I adore and respect women and get fascinated by them, but when they throw themselves at me for a sexual interest I just decline and cutoff all contact with them. I personally believe that If something is being thrown at you, most likely it is not worth having. There are people that should be avoided for your own mental and physical peace. From personal experience ‘being nice’ as in not taking action to protect myself  and my interest  has brought me more stress and nonsense than being tactfully honest at the first offence.

How are you going to spend this Valentine’s Day?
Valentine’s Day was to celebrate love, and somewhere down the line it has lost that. I am one of those who still have an old fashioned view of love that it is about sharing and caring, of the feeling that someone is there for you and you have someone who cares for you. So now, on Valentine’s Day you are supposed to show your girl  how much you love by giving her ridiculous gifts. It has become a sort of a deal “if you do not give me a gift on Valentine’s Day   you don’t love me”. Trust me I still do believe in love, it is the finest emotion  ever just that I hate to see it  become a packaged merchandise.  Anyway I’ll spend most part of the day at the gym, after work that is and later watch movies in my house...

Love aside... you into gym? What motivated that?
To be healthy and look good  in  my clothes  especially in summer the vests do a greater job ...haha!  Jokes aside ,fitness is my passion because it takes the ‘anxiety’ out of me, fitness help me to start my day knowing I have done  something good for myself. It is part of my life, it gives me goals  and feelings of accomplishments that I can go to the extra  mile.  Fitness is healthy and reassures me in mind, body and spirit. Sometimes as I’m doing my workout it is the best time to  meditate. Fitness raises myself esteem mentally and physically. Not only am I working towards looking and feeling good, I am improving the quality and quantity of my life.

Advise to decrease that beer belly?
Either way, we all have to take care of our body because we don’t have a spare...trust me drinking is not a problem but excessive drinking is. A good diet and regularly training can help curb that beer belly and also its important to drink and adequate amount of water so you stay hydrated people have no idea the major role water plays in our body. Hitting the gym or jogging three times a week can help in making sure that you stay healthy and if you put more effort then you going to get that summer body you always wanted... remember summer bodies are made in winter.

Goodbye Note…
Valentine’s Day is just one day and after, it is back to the normal routine. So, singletons like me should brighten up and engage in activities that will keep their mind off the hype.

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