Daily celebrations at politician's house

"Hi. Er, ‘ello. I’m Sinakokonkhe. My dad, the old man, has been falling asleep all over the place, lol; he even let go of his coffee mug and burnt his feet, having fallen asleep with the cup in his hand. Funny fella that one he should be called the Sleepy Old Man. While he washes up, I’ve decided to come to you guys to tell you that I’m tired of NikNaks.

Totally tired of the stuff. Next time you come to get advice, or whatever it is you get from daddy, bring Doritos, the blue ones. While I’m still here, can I say ‘hi’ to Mr Kamp Kwena? Yoh, he’s a hunk that one, *smiles*.

"Oops, I can smell burning tobacco; dad must be on his way. Don’t tell him I was chatting to you people. Bye, bye!"

*Yawns* Good morning once again and welcome to my humble rondavel. I’m having a really tough time staying awake. I have been having sleepless nights these days. I would have gone to the Sibaya to speak out on the cause of my discomfort but I was only halfway there when someone said something about ‘kutihhamula’ and I did a U-turn with my bicycle and came back to my rondavel. I’ve never had time to waste.

It all started when the public uproar on Finance Circular No. of 2010 reached fever pitch in the media (and by the way, ‘the media’ in Swaziland refers to the Times of Swaziland; I don’t need to explain why. Everybody knows). Everyone was shouting at the top of their voices, fervently calling for the withdrawal of the circular. Politicians started shaking in their boots. Seeing that their terms in office were about to come to an end anyway, they prayed for strength to at least fend off the criticism until their term in government finally..... zzz zzzzz *dozing off*.

"Ello, ‘ello. It’s me again, Snako that is. My dad has dozed off while talking to you. This is really cool. His pipe is now dangling dangerously from his fingers and it might fall anytime. There has never been such a funny time in this rondavel as today. Let me wake him up for the sake of finishing whatever it is he was saying. Daddy!"

Then they play loud music, sing and dance, laugh and jump for joy. They celebrate each and every day that passes, bringing them closer to their joy, their sole purpose for living; the tear-soaked riches contained in Finance Circular No. 1 of 2010. Ironically enough, they always end their mini-festivals with a prayer, thanking God for keeping them healthy and blessing them abundantly. They also pray for the new day to be as uneventful, with respect to the circular, as the previous one. They ask him to suppress all the people’s discontent until they leave office, because then they will get everything on their ‘Christmas wish list’; Circular No. 1 of 2010.

All this time I’d be kept awake because of the noise. Sometimes I think of taking my knobkerrie and pipe and walking over to that house to..... zzz zzzz zzzz.

"Well, well, well, it’s you-know-who again. It seems to me that we have come to the end of whatever was going on here. I’m really worried about all of you though. Seriously. Just how do you explain a whole lot of grown-ups working themselves up over some circle numbered 1? It doesn’t make sense. Next thing you know you’ll be angry over the square of number 1, or even a trapezium numbered 1. Anyway, please put daddy’s NikNaks on that table, and the whisky under it. Have a safe journey and remember to give your children lots and lots of cake and sweets and all of those heavenly things that make the world a better place for us all. Daddy!"

Mmmm? Whoa! Where’s everyone gone to?

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